As some of you may know, the last few months have been a bit challenging for me. I’ve been feeling stressed and pulled in a lot of different directions as I’ve had to shift my focus to my personal life and the medical needs of my daughter, Ellie.Ellie had a big reconstructive hip surgery on May 8th, after which she was hospitalized for six days, then came home in a spica/body cast for four weeks (which was difficult to say the least) and then spent 26 days at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia for inpatient rehab. We are finally home and back to our “normal” (yay!) so I can now take the time to reflect on the experience.

Making the best of things – Mother’s Day brunch at the hospital!

The two-month stretch saw plenty of highs and lows, and although it was a tough time we were able to use several coping strategies to help make the time as stress-free as possible. I thought I would share some of the strategies that got me through it and often with a great big smile on my face.

  • Find joy in the process. While Ellie was cooped up in the hospital, we tried to have as much fun with Ellie, the family and the situation as possible. We did lots of fun things in center city Philadelphia around our visits to Ellie that we would not have done had she been home. Molly had her first “college tour” (yes, she’s only 12) at Penn, which is adjacent to the hospital, we made a trip to the aquarium and did some touristy stuff in Old City Philadelphia. I also used the many hours in the car as an opportunity to listen to some great podcasts. I know I am smarter today than I was two months ago with all the knowledge I soaked up on my many trips to and from the hospital stuck in traffic! Those many car rides weren’t so bad because they meant I got through more podcasts….I’m a podcast junkie now!
  • Embrace Help. I’m a work-in-process, but I’ve gotten better with this as of late. It took a while for me to say yes to help, but now I welcome it. After spending the first few nights with Ellie overnight in rehab, I realized I could not sustain it for a month and it wouldn’t be healthy for any of us. So I enlisted help from my family and friends, asking them to visit Ellie and help with the other kids when I was down at the hospital. It made a huge difference. Thank you to everyone who helped out!
  • Rely on Community. It makes a difference when you can share your highs and lows with others (or at least it does for me) and I found that it provided the fuel to keep me going. Thanks to all my Facebook friends; you rock, as do my blog readers.
  • Strength finders that work. I have a favorite necklace that I think I wore every day for those two months. My necklace says on it very subtly, “Strength & Luck”, and I’ll tell you I did grab on to that a lot. Knowing it was on me at all times was helpful. I also wore a shirt I love to bedtime (especially if I was in the hospital) which has a picture of a glass & says, “half full.” I am definitely a glass half full kind of girl and waking up in that shirt after a rough night really helped me. Of course, the holy water and daily prayers were a given.
  • Welcome Distractions. I love distractions in general, but during a tough time it is especially great therapy. I went for it and tried out for Shark Tank which had open casting calls in Philadelphia one Saturday just five minutes from the hospital. It provided great fun for a day where I could “escape” the hospital, and then there was the pleasant surprise of a call-back so we scrambled to do a video for them. (you can read about that adventure here). Unfortunately, we are not moving on for Shark Tank but I LOVED the experience for so many reasons and would do it all again!!
  • Learn to Just Be. It was hard to really be present when I was at the hospital and not think about all that was going on at home or at work, but I really tried to be conscious of where I was and know that the others were in good hands and to just be.
  • Keep Perspective Always. I know we have challenges with Ellie but I have my girl and she is relatively healthy. These are just some set-backs but she is going to be okay in the long run. I have accepted her daily challenges as normal for us, so I don’t lose sleep (any more) over things like her being non-verbal, non-ambulatory, and developmentally delayed. There are many folks that have it a lot more difficult than us so I count my blessings.

So those are a few of the things that helped me get through this tough time. What are some of your tricks?

Thank you all for reading this and being the support that you are to me. You are all a blessing to me!