Yes, Good Enough is Good Enough!
I was recently speaking on a panel with other alum Moms from The Mount discussing the “Mommy Track”, and it was apparent we are all navigating the waters as best we can dependent on our situation. It was really great to be able to open up and share the good, the bad and the ugly. The general theme that has resonated both at this panel and in talking to many others is that we as women are too hard on ourselves. We never give ourselves a break and want to be perfect…perfect at work, at home, with the kids, and perfect with all of our other commitments. It’s exhausting, right? But with time and hard-earned wisdom, we learn that there is no such thing as “perfect”.
Life is messy. We are all imperfect beings with challenges and stresses and daily struggles. I have learned to accept being “good enough.”
My husband, Brad, would laugh at this and say I’ve never been a perfectionist. And I’d have to agree that I have been pretty good with this “good enough” philosophy. For example, I use “good enough” for things like: I cooked a good enough dinner, my kids are good enough, our house is good enough. I don’t stress over grades for my kids and want them to know that as long as they try their best that it is “good enough.” One of my daughters is very diligent and puts immense pressure on herself, and I often have to tell her to take it easy on herself.
While I do tend to live by the “good enough” philosophy, though, I have been too hard on myself with expectations and feeling that I haven’t done enough or could do better. For example, I just ran my first half marathon and I have to say I was bummed with my time, when I should have whole-heartedly celebrated the achievement and not worried about the time.
I definitely have other areas to accept the “good enough” philosophy as well. I’m a work in progress, but I’ve come a long way…especially since the early days of parenting and wanting everything to be “just perfect”.
I guess I’ve learned to figure out what MY definition of success is. My definition of success is very different from my neighbors, my friends and other business owners. I’ve learned it is only when you stop comparing yourself to others that you can fully be present with your reality and live your best life for you. It allows you to focus on the things that matter to you and to let the other things go. It is a beautiful thing when you can accept “good enough” and define what success is to you. Try it if you are not there yet.
There have been studies showing that folks that accept this “good enough” philosophy tend to be consistently happier and more confident. They are not sweating over the small details and perfectionism but rather on getting things done. I tend not to sweat over the small things and tend to be a quick decision maker. Now, that may have something to do with my impulsivity—which has its drawbacks, believe me—but it helps to get things done and not suffer from analysis by paralysis.
So to all the Moms out there who are struggling to be “perfect”…please let it go and focus on being “good enough.” Don’t compare your cupcakes to the cupcakes on Pinterest. And only make those “Pinterest-worthy” cupcakes if you love doing that.
Heck, store-bought cupcakes are “good enough” for me when my life is crazy (which it tends to be). Figure out what your definition of success is and put your energy there and let the other things go.
Here’s to being easier on ourselves, letting go of the things that don’t really matter, embracing life, finding your definition of success and having fun! That sounds good enough to me!!
